Flynn? Can I help at your shelter?

I'm not very smart and I cant teach or anything but I had lots of familys and placements and I know how it is. And I can keep lists and things if they don't have to be spelled good. Or I can help cook if Autumn shows me what to do because I listen good too. I just want to help and I don't really have anything...

I can talk to the people there though. I'm good at that. I don't know big words or physhcolgy but I think experiance is better anyway.

So can I?

I AM AT SPENCE'S

Ur parents omg! Are you ok, Tasha!?

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY GIVE ME PRESEMTS!!

I'M 18 YO!

FIONA GAVE ME A MIMOSA FOR BREKKIRE CAUS E I CAN DRINK NOW! WHOOOOOOOOOOO! ORANGE AND DRINK!

E2 is safe. And E1's off with Dietrich. I have no idea what I think about any of it.

Well. I'm glad E2 is okay.

My mum's dating a man! He's funny to!

I can't wait for Jesus Christ Superstar because I so want to be a whore! Are there whores in Jesus Christ Superstare?

My Tasha's a police officer yay!!

Tasha? I'm being a nong. Can I come over there?

Emma left Mum. And I sent her an angry letter but I didn't know where to send it so I had to send it to her WORK because they have a forwarding address they won't give out.

I had to send a letter to my own Mum's work just to be sure she'd get it. Because I don't know where she is.

I hope you read this Emma. If you can? I think you're a bitch. I think you're worse than Gloria because you didn't have to leave and you knew what it would do and you did it anyway. If you come back, I might have a little faith restored. But you'll have to work to earn back my trust. Come home.

Seriously what the hell is wrong with her?

Baby I'm done being dumb, okay? Can you come over and see me? I want to seeyou and talk to you and have sex again. But only if you want that too.

I'm sick of being traumatised. I need to get over this and I can't do that if I keep hiding.

I love you.

I wish I'd been there. I wish she'd killed me.

I'm still sick and E1 won't let me out of bed and everythings STUPID.

Hiiiiii! My mums are getting married TOMORROW OMG!!!! And to celebrate, I'm posting a fucking shitload of picturws that Fiona took!! She takes hottty pictures!! Tasha, wanna spend the nite?!

( LOOK ITS ME AND PEEPS! )

My sister helped me write a essay!!! It was about Vlad the Impaler! He impaled people and did you know Ottomania is not a country, it's an Empire? Which just makes me thinkg of Star Wars so then I just imagine Dracula fighting Darth Vader which totally works because in that third one, sexy Vader fought Christopher Lee and he was Dracula in those movies with Hammers and then sexy Vader became melty Vader.

I didn't write that in my essay though...

My mums are getting married!!! On the 14th!! Because that's almost a year (plus two days) since they decided to not break up and still be lesbians together. And Zoe's getting adopted which is awesome because I love her and I bet Fiona could help her do essays too! And then E&E are going to adopt a little baby boy because Emma said the house needs some dick in it now that the Xandrov boys are gone.

I AM SO EXCITES!

Hey are you fucking my sister?

I don't mean NOW obviously because she's in her room singing Enya.

I've been with my Tasha for a year! A whole year of Tasha and Hope!

And sex too :D

And I got SO spoiled for my birthday.

I got your flowers, Baby. They fill my room. And my room is HUGE! I love you Tasha. Forever and ever!!

( For you )

Fiona took them for you. I POSED!

School's okay and stuff. I miss Tasha being there but Spence is coming back next week!!! YAY!!!

Fuck THAT shit!

I'm coming over, Baby! Though E1 was anyway. But I'm coming with her. This is crap.

Thomas? I feel like the biggest traitor on the planet because he's my uncle, but my Tasha lives there with Peter Kemp. Uhm...so Peter Kemp was really with you all day yesterday and you know know know that for sure? Like...absolutely NO way he could have done it and then come back?

Tasha came to stay with me last night and we had mango ice cube sex! Hehhehehehhee!

E1 is going to see Peter Kemp this morning because apparently he's not feeling very well. Poor Peter Kemp. I hope mum can help him out! She's good at that.

Jubileeeeeeeee, will you come shopping with me tomorrow? I need to buy a dress!

Life like totally sucks right now.

I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT GOING TO SPAIN TOMORROW!!! I packed EVERYTHING! And then E2 giggled because she found my fuzzy pink handcuffs! But I know she's bringing hers so whatever MUM!

EEEEEIIIII SO EXCITED! SPAIN! SPANISH FOOD! PETER'S CRAZY FAMILY!

AND FOREIN SEX!

:D!

OMG we're going to SPAIN soon!! ALOHA!!

I can't stand this. You're my girl. I love you.

Oh god please I hope you're okay. I'll die. I'll die you die. They can't torture you! This isn't right!!

I wish I never learned about all this stupid CRAP.

I have a new foster sister and she's SO cool! And really fun! And we talked for a really long time. Then I got a missed call from Spence on my mobile. So Spence, if you want to call again, I'm here! Missed you in class today! Carys kept bugging me at lunch. Augh she's SO annoying.

Zoe, I hope your first day of school was good!

And, as always, I love my Tasha.

Tasha!! I got some pretty pink and purple sparkly candles!! I miss you, and I can't wait to use them!

Fiona and I have been bonding and she's showing me some of her art and it's cool having a sister. She spends a lot of time talking to E&E at night which is good. I'm glad they're here for her. We got all her stuff and she set it up in a new room. I've never living in this house before. It's fucking huge, man. And Robert and Mum make the BEST dinners. And Dimitri is cute and shy and Fiona makes him blush eeeiiii!

Well.

So we moved and stuff.

Fiona's in shock, but the doctor said she didn't need to be in hospital and she can stay with us because she's talking. She's just freaked out. And who wouldn't be?

But E&E say she can live with us as long as she wants.

Today was shitty.

Fiona...was your mother's name Lisa Lyons-Kavanagh?

I'm asking because I got my birth certificate in the mail and...I recognised her last name happens to be you'res too. And I'm a bit confused now!

Rumors blown over. HOPE WINS! And I got a package today but I'm afraid to open it. Don't worry, it's an official package not a shifty one!

Tasha come open it with me?

Darling Tasha?

Richard from school just rang me and HE said that there's this girl named Tasha Kemp at our school and she's apparently some Russian Spy that was married to a dive bomber who got killed...because that's what happens to dive bombers and now she's at our school masquerading as a high school student until such time that she recieves the signal and kills us all with tear gas.

Oh and something about drugs and murdering at clubs or something?

So then I told him Tasha Kemp was my girlfriend and he was all "Nu uh, Tasha Stukov-Baudrillard is your girlfriend" and I was all "she changed her name dumbarse" and he was all "omg" and I was all "yeah, so shh"

So that's what's getting around at London College apparently. You were married to a dive bomber, hmm? Must've been an interesting wedding vow. "Til explosion parts us."

Some people are like SO dum.

So I've been researching the people that foster cared me....it seems like they all got threatening letters and gave me up. Nice. I sent away for the records of my birth and they should be here soon. This is all so weird. But the notes haven't started again so maybe it's all okay now. Lets' hope so!

Haha! Hope!

Anyway, I want to read outloud to the Squirts again that was fun!

Oh my god, Richard from school called me and he said that Shiela totally cheated on Edmund! That's so crazy because they were so totally in love before holidays. Richard is Sheila and Edmund's best friend so I told him to cheer up because it might not be THAT bad because E&E had a bad time but they're really okay now!

But since Richard can't see it....Shiela, your a dirty ho! Because she totally cheated on Edmund with his brother. And Emma did NOT sleep with Peter Kemp so she's not a dirty ho.

Christmas ruins everything!! Except mine was nice, but being away from school strains everyone's relationships! But not Tasha's and mine because ours is the best!

I got the pictures back from Peter Kemp and Aly's wedding today and they're so fucking cute and I LOVE them! And the Squirts and ETHEREEL FACADE BABY! And Tasha of course!

MY layout is still Christmassy. Oh well. Lazy. It can stay that way because YAY PINK BALLS!

Holy Crap.

YAY!

WHAT THE FUCK!!!?

GODAMN YOU! All I wanted was a home that was stable and I had it and now it's gone WHY THE HELL WEREN'T YOU THINKING OF ME!?

I've been thinking allot lately about how we learn what's really important when something bad happens. I know what's important to me now. Tasha and E&E and the Squirts and Peter Kemp and Aly and my friends...my life before just seems so...stupid.

Though, considering I hit a man with a car, that kind of goes without saying. I think I need to say it anyway so people know I know you know?

I think I'm growing up!! Weird!!

I still like pink.

What the fuck! Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck!?

I have people who love me. I never have before and its wonderfull. I'm loved and I didn't even get in trouble for drinking the champayne!

Best night ever!

Tasha came over and it was SO nice!

Peter Kemp's coming home tomorrow and we might have a party and it will be really nice. Want to come to that too, Tasha!? Then there's the formal next week. I'm so excited!!

Living here is really good. I like it. I don't ever want to leave.

Tasha came over last night and that was good. Todays classes sucked arse, but I got a C on my test in maths and that's better than I expected! E&E seemed pleased. Then my damn rat bit my finger! Fucker. But hes to cute to be mad at for long!

This weekend, Emma is taking me shopping for a formal dance! You should come to, Tasha, so if we go together, we can look nice and matchy!

Apparently the Squirts are missing. Wonder if they got left on like a field trip or something. Man that would suck.

I got left once. We took a field trip to the zoo and I totally got left behind but they realised before they got too far and drove back. This sounds like they didn't drive back.

Wow some people are really dum aren't they?

There's too many people here and I wish they'd ALL FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The family I'm living with is awesome. E&E are like so very very cool! We went shopping and they come get me after school and we go to cafes and stuff! I love them! I hope I don't have to leave....

School is okay. The social part is great! I love hanging out with Renee and Pierre and Tasha and everything, but the classes part isn't so great. I'm a bit behind and learning is hard. I so do not get algebra! And why the fuck do I care what X=?! X=GO AWAY ALGEBRA!

Seeing Paul tomorrow maybe. He said he'll come visit me at school and stuff. I haven't seen him in a while and that's been okay actually. I'm not really interested in him as much as I used to be and I think now that I was just with him so Carly couldn't be because then she'd be free to be with me...that's weird isn't it?